How to Anoy the Green Lantern Corps
by SwordMasterZ
Summary: How would you Go about annoying A GL Corps Member read and find out. Some chapters may be about Members from the other Corps  or a miner Character. But it will mostly focus on GL Members
1. Chapter 1

**Hal Jordan:** Sinestro What Are You Doing?

**Sinestro:** I have finally Done it Jordan I have found a power strong enough to beat the little blue Trolls

**Hal Jordan** : (While making A construct of Handcuffs): We Been over this Sinestro You can't Dethrone the Guardians.

**Sinestro:** I'm not dethroning them I'm Pushing Some Buttons, though I do not like using Primitive Earth Technology to do it. (Holds up Writers notebook).

**SwordmasterZ:** Walks in Sinestro what in the nine Hells are you doing! First off I have A No Helping members of Any JLA Heroes' Rogues Gallery and second nobody Uses my computer but Me.

**Sinestro**: Then maybe you would like to Get Revenge for Jordan.

**Swordmaster Z**….?

**Hal Jordan**….?

**Sinestro:** Didn't you two see the end of War of the Green Lanterns( Holds up The Graphic Novel).

**Hal:** Why those little ….

**SwordmasterZ**… Blue Dweebs….. (looks at Sinestro and Hal) I Vote we work together just this one time.

**Sinestro and Hal** Together: Agreed

D/c I own Nothing

* * *

><p>The Guardians<p>

1. Show them The video of Hal Jordan's Greatest Stunts

2. Keep asking them what they are afraid of

3 .Point out that they need the GL Corps more than the Corps need them

4 .Tell them that Krona was Right in thinking the Earth Lanterns would make Better Guardians then them

5. Paint every Wall on Oa A different Collar of The Spectrum (use a lot of Pink, Blue, and Yellow)

6. Rig some Speakers to keep playing " I'm Blue" by Eiffel 65, whenever they leave the citadel

7. Take all those chapters from the book of the Black that detail all the things the Guardians were trying to hide from the Universe and Copy it. Then distribute them all throughout the known Universe.

8. Introduce the Alpha Lanterns to YouTube

9. Right the Control Freaks of the Universe on the Citadel wall in Red and Yellow paint ( This has the Added Bonus of framing Sinestro and Atrocitus)

10. Make them all have mandatory group therapy so they are forced to talk about their feelings, or lack thereof.

* * *

><p><strong>Sinestro:<strong> What's the Big Idea with the Frame up?

**SwordmasterZ:** It is a Freebee for the GLs plus they asked me to bother you next.

A/N Guardians that see themselves as individuals Like Ganthet will be given separate chapters.

R/R


	2. Chapter 2

**Swordmasterz: (Looking at Hal and Kyle Who Are holding Sinestro in place with a green Strait Jacket): Are you sure he can't Get out of that.**

**Hal: Positive**

**Swordmasterz: Just checking. By the Way what is Kyle doing here?**

**Kyle: Making Sure the Guardians Don't Respond poorly to that little joke of yours.**

**Swordmasterz: Right I forgot no sense of Hummer, but what are they going to do send the Alphas after me?**

**Hal And Kyle:…**

**Swordmasterz: Right Lets Make this quick then**

**Sinestro : (Struggling against Hal and Kyle )**

**Swordmasterz: Someone please do the Disclaimer**

**Kyle: Swordmasterz does not own Green Lantern **

**Swordmasterz : Thank you Kyle and I would like to thank Lumina Balderson Blue Lantern for number one on the list.**

* * *

><p>1. Call Him Sinny<p>

2. Tell Him That Hal Jordan Surpassed him as a Lantern Years ago

3. Ask him if That Green Lantern Symbol Kyle Rayner Branded on his Back still hurts

4. Ask him how his Corps Feels about Sinestro Going back to Being the Guardians Dog.

5. Let John Stewart and Guy Gardner Cash in on that Bounty the Sinestro Corps Put on His head

6. Point out if he was so great he would not heed to keep Shoving Parallax down Kyle or Hal's throat every time he really wanted to destroy the Green Lantern Corp.

7. Show him a video of Kyle and Soranik on a date

8. Tell him abducting Soranik does not count as quality Father Daughter time

9. Have constructs of Abin Sur and his sister Fallow Sinestro around telling him all the reasons why she left him.

10. Dump Blue paint on him so his yellow ring will not work against the GL Corp

11. Allow The GL Corp to have him after this chapter is Finished

* * *

><p><strong>Sinestro: You're Sick <strong>

**Swordmasterz: Being around Batman will do that to you. Maybe you guys should take him before the Sinestro Corp Shows up. **

**Kyla: Ok **

**Hal: Maybe you should hide before…**

**Alpha Lanterns: (crash through the door) you are under arrest **

**Swordmasterz : Crap till next time people ( Pulls out a Smoke bomb causing Kyle, Hal, She and Sinestro to disappear.**

**R/R**


	3. Chapter 3

**Hal: What are you doing ?**

**Swordmasterz: Revenge **

**John Stewart Walks in with Kyle: What did he do to her? **

**Kyle: He got Greece from his airplane on her leather Jacket **

**John: When did that happen?**

**Hal: after we gave Sinestro to the Alpha lanterns in exchange for leaving us alone.**

**John: Hell hath no fury **

**Hal: guys a little help**

**Kyle: Swordmasterz does not own green lantern if she did the guardians would have died after blackest Night.**

**Hal: Kyle!**

**1. Revoke his Pilot's license**

**2. Force him to do Watch Tower Monitor duty with Batman **

**3. Dump yellow paint on his head **

**4. Follow him around Dressed as Specter **

**5. Ask him if wearing all those different colored rings are responsible for his resent mood swings.**

**6. Tell him Kyle is the superior lantern.**

**7. Set him up on a blind date wit h Boodikka **

**8. Force him to do Recon with the Lost Lanterns **

**9.** Show** the Rookies a video depicting some of Hal's less than Staller moments **

**10. put him in bondage gear and deliver him to the Star Sapphires (A.N Remove his Ring First)**

**11. Make sure Ganthet sees the video of 7,9 and 10**

**Hal: That was so unfair**

**Swordmasterz: All is fair in love and war **

**Kyle: You Really think I'm a Better Lantern then Hal ?**

**Swordmasterz: No Actually with the exception of Guy I think you are all on equal par, As far as who is the best. It depends on the situation. **

**Hal: like? **

**Swordmasterz: Depends who got possessed by an evil yellow fear entity. **

**John, Hal, and Kyle all hang their Heads **

**Swordmasterz: Read and review **


	4. Chapter 4

Swordmasterz: Another chapter and hopefully Guy will not go all red on me for this

Guy: (Looks over at my computer) What the H-

Kyle: Watch your moth

Swordmasterz: Thank you where is Hal I thought he would like this?

Kyle: Still pouting from your last Chapter.

SwordmasterZ: Hill get over it. Say the Disclaimer

Kyle: Swordmasterz does not own Green Lantern

Swordmasterz: This chapter is dedicated to Sorakage Sama

* * *

><p>Guy Gardiner<p>

1. Tell him Ice is leaving him to have a relationship with Fire

2. Tell him the Guardians instituted Prohibition making Oa a Dry Planet

3. Tell Him that all members of the Green Lantern Corps need to Pass an IQ exam and make it so there is no way he can pass it.

4. Get Hals niece and nephew Wired on Sugar then make Guy Baby sit.

5. Force him to take Anger management classes

6. Force him to look after Dex-Star the Red Lantern Cat

7. Tell him there is no way in Hell that the Guardians would have let him keep his Ring if he was the first Human Green lantern.

8. Steel Kyle's paint Brushes and Hal's Leather Jacket and plant them on Guy.

9. Force Him to Join the Indigo tribe.

10. Force him to wear a Dress onto the Justice League watch tower. And take pictures

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><p>Guy: Your Evil<p>

Swordmasterz: Thank you and good night


	5. Chapter 5

Kilowog

Swordmasterz : Hal my muse are you still mad at me for chapter 3?

**Hal:** (No response)

Swordmasterz: What do I have to do So you will talk to me again

Hal: (Hands her a piece of paper with two names on it)

Swordmasterz: So I need to do chapters for these two? Ok

Disclaimer I own nothing

Kilowog.

1. Point out the name of his home planet is next to impossible to pronounce the name of his home planet.

2. Suggest him he Martian Man Hunter should get together and start a support group for nearly extinct aliens

3. Follow around impersonating Sargent Deegan ( His Drill instructor in Emerald Knights)

4. Inform him Stell is the better Drill instructor

5. Tell Him you are having a hard time believing he was one of the Best Scientists on his home planet.

6. Tell John Stewart you know what happened to his copy of Old Yeller.

7. Next time you see him eating Bacon tell him you did not know he was a cannibal

8. Tell him if he is going to stay on Earth he should probably get Vaccinated for Swine Flue

9. Make Him do Salaks Job for a week

10. Force him to take interpretive dance classes

Swordmasterz: Happy Hal

Hal: getting there

Kilowog ( Crashes through the wall) Were is She

Swordmasterz: Dam it, till next time people. Who is the next name on Your list Hal?

(Looks at Paper) OH Hell


	6. Chapter 6

Boodikka

**Swordmasterz:** (Comes in breathing hard)

**Kyle:** What happened to you?

**Swordmasterz:** Kilowog…. last chapter …made me do pushups

**Kyle:** why did you torture Kilowog?

**Swordmasterz:** Glares at Hal

**Hal:** Backs up Slowly You have been getting lessens from Batman haven't you?

**Swordmasterz:** Maybe

**Kyle**: I'll come back when you two are finished relieving some of that tension.

**Hal:** Swordmasterz does not own Green lantern or anything related to DC comics.

* * *

><p>1. Tell her Wonder Woman could kick her Ass<p>

2. Show Her how she was portrayed in Green Lantern First Flight

3. Do the Robot whenever she is around

4. Tell her by becoming an Alpha Lantern she basically sold her soul

5. Tell her turning her Back on the Lost Lanterns to become an Alpha Lantern was a far greater betrayal then anything that Hal Jordan ever did to any of them.

6. Write Boodikka loves Lobo all over the wall in the GL' s Cafeteria

7. Show everyone the video of their last date

8. Set her up on a blind date with Hal Jordan

9. Next time she gets injured tell her you do not know if she needs a Doctor or a Mechanic

10. Next time she is in a room with a lot of toddlers' act all terrified and tell her to leave before she scars those kids for life.

* * *

><p><strong>Swordmasterz:<strong> (Looks at Hal) are you happy now?

**Hal:** Very, though I could have gone without number 8

**Swordmasterz:** Wimp, I figured I needed to mirror it from your list. We should go before Boodikka shows up and…..

**Hal and Swordmasterz:** (Are Suddenly are trapped in a large Green cage)

**Swordmasterz:** Can you cut us out of this?

**Hal:** Rings dead

**Swordmasterz:** How

**Boodikka:** ( Flies down to the cage) Did you to really think you could get away with it.

**Swordmasterz:** What?

**Boodikka:** For conspiring against the Guardians

**Swordmasterz:** looks at Hal) Did she loos her sense of humor when the Guardians mad her an Alpha.

**Hal:** No she was always kind of a….

**Swordmasterz:** Witch

**Hal:** Off by one letter

**Swordmasterz:** Till next time people


	7. Chapter 7

Arisia

**Hal:** I did not expect that to happen

**Swordmasterz:** (comes in with a broken leg and her arm in a sling) really? Just be glad we got out of the cage.

**Hal :** Good point, where did you get the power rings to get us out of there.

**Swordmasterz:** Do you really need an answer to that.

**Hal:** No

**Swordmasterz:** This is why I am writing this chapter from an undisclosed location

**Hal:** Swordmasterz does not own Green lantern If she did she would have replaced the guardians with an elected council three story arcs ago. And I would still officially be in the corps.

**Swordmasterz:** Hal!

**Hal:** It's true

**Arisia**

Inform the entire corps She used to be teacher's pet (.A/n For those who don't know Hal Jordan was her mentor)

Tell her she has Bad luck with Guys I.e. Lanterns Jordan and Yate

Point out to her that it is never a good Idea to date your co-workers

Suggest to her she might think about transferring to the Star sapphire corps

Tell her that chucking a planet at an enemy is overkill ( A/n Look at emerald knights)

Tell her that her ears make her look like an elf extra in Lord of the Rings.

Tell her that her skin color makes it look like she got a Bad spray tan

Tell her being a Fourth Generation lantern means she will forever be in the shadow of her ancestors.

Ask her what it is like to be buried alive

Poste her Diary and tack the entries up all over Oa

**Hal:** I don't see Arisia retaliating, but what are we going to do about Boudicca

**Swordmasterz:** I thought I would call her old Boyfriend

**Hal:** You are going to call Lobo?

**Swordmasterz:** Yup

**Hal**: That's evil

**Swordmasterz:** I know


	8. Chapter 8

**Swordmasterz:** (Tightens the restraints on Hal's Wrist) What have I told you about trying to kill my boyfriend?

**Hal:** Sorakage Sama had it coming did you see what he put un stupid Super Tricks?

**Swordmasterz:** Yes it was very funny I think more people should read it?

**Hal:** Trader! How long are you keeping me like this any way?

**Swordmasterz:** till Carol and Kyle come to dispose of that. (Points to red ring in a jar)

**Kyle:** (Walks in Sees Hal All tied up in Green and Yellow Chains) I did not know you were into that Sort of thing.

**Carol:** Nice Work but a Blue lantern is the only one that can get rid of that.

**Swordmasterz:** (Hangs Head)

**Carol:** SwordmasterZ does not own Green Lantern.

Salaak

1. Tell him he has been at his Desk So long he has no Idea what it is like on the front line

2. Tell him no one even knows what planet he is from

3. Tell him for a Green lantern he has a long way to go in Growing a spine

4. Call him the Guardians lap Dog

5. Tell him Moro the lantern Crypt keeper is more popular than him

6. Point out he does not belong in any of the clicks in the corps ( The, ones that tend to form around the Earth lanterns, Lost Lanterns, Alpha Lanterns or Honor Guard)

7. Destroy his computer Systems

8. Sigh him up to be Budikka and Kilawog's Sparing partner

9. Give him a computer Virus

10. Force him to go on patrol with Guy


	9. Chapter 9

**Kyle: Where is Hal?**

**Swordmasterz: He is on a Date with Carole, I Gave Him the day off.**

**Kyle: (looks Over Writers Shoulder) you know this guy is practicall impossible to Bug right?**

**SwordmasterZ: It was a review Request. Just Do the Disclaimer**

**Kyle: SwordmasterZ does not own Green Lantern. If She did I would be more Awesome than Hal.**

**SwordmasterZ: Kyle **

Saint Walker

1. Point out that Hope is useless without Will there for his Ring is limited without a green Lantern.

2. Ask him about how his family Died

3. Call his corps a Bunch of Space Hippies

4. Point out that Both the Blue Lanterns Guardians Quit and one of them went to the orange Corps.

5. Ask him if Hope was so powerful how come his Ring could not save Mogo.

6. Ask him why his recruitment is so slow.

7. Dump Red paint on his head

8. Threaten that you will tell Ganthet that He almost lost Hal.

9. Point out the Blue entity Has Identity Issues

10 .Force him to Fight Atrocities Without his Ring.

11. Tell him he looks like an extra in a Star Wars Movie ( The Prequels)


	10. Chapter 10

Disclaimer: own nothing

Hal: what took you so long

Swordmasterz: Sorry my muse personal Issues.

Hal: (Looks over writer's Shoulder He is going to kill You?

Swordmasterz: that's Why I've Come Prepared( Pulls out both a blue and green Ring)

Hal: Remember people read and Review

Razer

Tell him that Alana would be Disappointed in him

Point out Sainte Walker kicked his Ass before he got his powers

Write Razer Loves AYa all over The Interceptor wall

If Hal Asks you who put the graphite on the wall Blame Razer

Force him to sing the fun Song From Spungbob

Tell Him green would look better on him then Red

After Doing Seven dup green paint on him and then tell Hal Look Razer found his Christmas Spirit. ( Works Best in December)

Tell him his Relationship with the Interceptor A.I is not healthy

Make him take Anger Management classes.

Hid his ring so he cannot retaliate.


	11. Chapter 11

Hal: Thanks to you Razor is so mad he is on a path of destruction that goes from here to OA.

Swordmasterz: Relax he will cool down eventually

Hal: Not Before he destroys your movie collection

Swordmasterz: looks over to see Razor about to destroy her Star Wars tapes) Razor put down my copy of episode V Now!

Razor: never!

Swordmasterz: (Pulls out a Green and a red light saber) Hal say the disclaimer well I deal with Razor.

Hal: Swordmasterz does not own Green Lantern.

Aya

1. Write Aya loves Razor all over the interceptor's wall.

2. Hide all her backup body parts

3. Color her star sapphire violet

4. Next time she is on an evil tangent tell her to stop acting like Hal the killer computer from 2001 space odyssey.

5. If 4 does not work dump yellow paint on her

6. Photo shop pictures of her and Razer together and send them to both the Guardians and red lantern corps.

7. Dress up like Alona to distract Razer

8. Get Hal to explain the joy ride concept to the other lanterns and not tell Aya.

9. Replace her with Lamose (the other AI)

10. Make her spend a week with C3Po from Star Wars


	12. Chapter 12

Black Hand

Swordmasterz: ( Walks in and Drops to knees)

Hal: where is Razor?

Razor: (Comes in with a full body cast)

Swordmasterz: did you learn your Lesson Razor?

Razor: yes

Hal: How did you get the lightsabers

Swordmasterz: the Skywalkers owed me a favor

Hal: So those are Luke's and Vader's?

Swordmasterz: Basically and in case you're wondering Green is more my color.

Hal: Ok but are you sure this guy should be your next victim?

Swordmasterz: Just say the disclaimer

Hal: She owns nothing

1. Tell him the inmates At Arkham Asylum are more stable than he is

2. Freeze him so he cannot Die

3. Surgically attach a white ring to the inside of his body so the Black ring cannot work

4. Tell the Specter that Black Hand almost caused the apocalypse and give him a list of torture suggestions.

5. Hide The Book of the Black where he cannot get to it.

6. Tell Death of the Endless who was responsible for Blackest Night, thus forcing her to work overtime.

7. Lock him in a Science Cell With The guardians for all eternity

8. Send him to Hell still alive and tell the Devil that keeping him alive is the cruelest thing to do to him

9. Insert a GPS into his body so the Indigo tribe will always be able to find him.

the red Lanterns Use him for Target practice

11. Have The Honor Guard at Arlington National Summitry Chain him up outside the gates so the relatives of those Buried their can get revenge on him for desecrating their loved ones graves. ( Let wonder Women Beat him up to Avenge the Unknown Soldier)

SwordMasterZ: Do you like it my muse?

Hal: Yes But Why does Wonder Women get to avenge the Unknown by herself ?

Swordmasterz: Pulls out White Lantern Ring You have a point get the rest of the League. By the way did Kyle put the Book of the Black where I told him to?

Hal: Yes

Swordmasterz: Good. Remember people Read and Review


	13. Chapter 13

Carole Ferris AKA Star Sapphire

**Kyle:** She's going to be Mad.

**Swordmasterz:** Which is why I have a contingency plan.

Hal: Have you been taking lessons from batman again?

**Swordmasterz:** Say the disclaimer

**Kyle:** She owns Nothing

1. Ask her if the color of love is Violet why is her uniform pink.

2. Tell her about the threesome Hal had with Lady Black Hawk and Huntress.

her the stare sapphire uniform makes her look like a prostitute.

some Motion sensors to an IPod and a set of speakers to play You Gave Love A Bad Name.

5. Next time Hal goes on a date with Cowgirl videotape it and show her the tape

6. Have Bruce Wayne Buy out Ferris Air.

7. Take the company's latest aircraft for a Joy ride.

8. Tell her that Fatality is replacing her as queen of the Star Sapphires

9. Tell her that she has been possessed by the predator more times than the all four earth's Green Lanterns have been possessed by Parallax combined.

10. Tell her that Aphrodite named Wonder Woman the Champion of love

her Hal put out a restraining order against her after the last Predator incident.

Stare Sapphire (Brakes the door down) where she!

**Swordmasterz:** Activate code cupped

**Hal:** (comes in holding two dozen red Roses) Come on Carol it was just a joke.

**Carol** and Hal: (Fly off)

**Swordmasterz**: That was close Read and review.


	14. Chapter 14

Swordmasterz: (Looks at Hal) being the Boss is tough Hah

Hal: You Have no Idea

Kyle: (Flies in Glowing White) what's up?

Swordmasterz: ( puts on sun glasses) new victim

Hal: He will kill you

Kyle: Swordmasterz does not own green Lantern

John Stewart

1. Tell Fatality about his fling with Hawk girl

2. Dress Up like Katma and Follow him around like a ghost

3. Tell him he is the human equivalent of the Death Star

4. If He doesn't agree Hold a Funeral Service for Mogo every time John is on Oa.

5. After Kilowog eats John's copy of old yeller have Bruce and Oliver buy up every copy on amazon so he cannot replace it

6. Ban Ted and Terry's Ice cream from Oa and the Watch Tower

7. Point out the only Reason he became a lantern was Because Hal was in a Comma

8. Tell him Simon Baz is a better lantern then him and he was not even trained

9. Tell him at least three of his constructs violate gun registration laws

10. Tell him Indigo is more his color.


	15. Chapter 15

Ganthet

Hal: It's about time you got to him

Kyle: do you need to do this one

Swordmasterz: yes and seeing as I'm the only one in the room without Daddy Issues I would appreciate no comments from the peanut Gallery

HAL and Kyle: (mouths hang open)

Swordmasterz: I own nothing

1. Tell him making a Lantern corpse with no offensive capability without a Green Lantern around was extremely stupid.

2. Show a video of Ganthet kissing Syad to the other guardians

3. Use magic to summon Krona's Ghost from the afterlife and have him fallow Ganthet around.

4. Ask him if he was so smart why he did not know Hal was possessed by Parallax when he destroyed the corps

5. Ask if Guardians are so powerful why did he need Saint Walker to grow his hand back

6. Ask if Guardians have no emotion why was he afraid of Kyle when he started wielding the entire emotional spectrum

7. Point out the Third army was the dumbest Idea The Guardians had as a Whole

8. Point out Drinking the Guardian crazy Juice caused him to lose 90% of his coolness factor

9. If the brainwashing cannot be reversed put him in the same room with the First Lantern and tell the First Lantern he can do anything to Ganthet as long as it does not affect time and space outside the room they are in.

10. Give him a month of boot camp with Kilowog

11. Point out if the Guardians were going to create the third army they should have let Nekron have his way with the Blackest Night


	16. Chapter 16

Kyle: I thought it was bad to speak ill of the dead

Swordmasterz: He is a lantern he is fair game

Hal: Swordmasterz does not own green lantern

Abin Sur

Point out in the main DC universe his soul purpose is to show up and die so Hal Jordan can become Green Lantern.

Point out the fact he was a horrible father because his daughter was murdered and his son was a sociopath.

Tell him that Sinestro thought he was insane when he died

Give him a list of twenty reasons why letting Sinestro date his sister was a bad Idea.

Ask him if it is possible for his people to get sunburned.

Tell him the Red skin and the Green Lantern Uniform makes him look like a Christmas tree.

Tell him believing in fate is what lead to his death

Ask him if he had a bondage obsession

Tell him Crucifixion whent out of style after the fall of the Roman Empire. ( Look at Secret origins)

Point out the Indigo tribe was a screwed up Idea.


End file.
